we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
