Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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