I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
