If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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