My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize