Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
