Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
