I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
