wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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