Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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