I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
