Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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