Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
