He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
