Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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