So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
