im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
