What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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