walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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