I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
