No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
