I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
