just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
