I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
