I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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