I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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