I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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