hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
