Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
