Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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