i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
