Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize