I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
