this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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