btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
