I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
