Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
