I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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