My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
