Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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