I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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