Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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