You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if only i could text you this smell
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
