literally had 100 drinks last night.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize