I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you have feelings for this penis?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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