We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
