Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
