Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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