Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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