And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
