I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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