you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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