Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
