Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We left an ass print on the piano.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
