I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
