At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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