drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
