i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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