I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My friends, they love my intelligence
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize