Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize