carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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