He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
